I don't know about you, but I find it oddly comforting to discover that Rob Lowe is a human being. I mean, he's obviously a delightful specimen of what a human being can be and arguably more talented and determined (and hotter) than most of us – and yet, he is, at his core, wrestling with the very same challenges that I, a middle-aged, middle-class, middle-manager struggle with in my own journey. What is my purpose? Am I living up to my potential? And am I really doing what I should with my one and only wild life?
Admittedly, I'm stuck on the "all Rob Lowe, all the time" channel at present, since I was fortunate enough to hear him speak at a conference last week. Not only did I have the privilege of a front row seat, mere feet from the very same star whose Tiger Beat posters plastered my bedroom walls, I also got an autographed copy of his book and had the chance to have my picture taken with him. While hearing/seeing/meeting Rob Lowe was a bucket list moment for me, he was the icing on the cake. The conference I attended, the inaugural Work Human event, could have been designed with me in mind. Each speaker, each breakout session, each topic seemed plucked from my anthem and I had the honor of hearing some of the world's thought leaders give their perspective on why we all need to give up, give in, or give it all we've got. From Ariana Huffington to Adam Grant to Shawn Achor to Rob Lowe, the message was clear. The time has come to recognize and embrace our human fallibility. We're people, not robots, and the beauty of our existence lies in our humanity. We are all deeply flawed and we are all deeply capable of amazing things. We will screw up – sometimes in spectacular fashions – and it is in the moments where we marinate in our mistakes that our true greatness emerges. It's not falling down that makes us special, because we all fall down (thanks a lot, gravity!) but rather, it's our ability and willingness to pick ourselves back up. Some of us gracefully dust ourselves off; others of us take a moment to feel sorry for ourselves; and some of us check out our bruises before we get up and try again.
When I packed my suitcase for my trip to Orlando (and to Work Human), I wasn't expecting this conference to get under my skin and nourish my soul. Rather, I was looking forward to warm weather, sole control of the TV remote, and of course, Rob Lowe. I planned to catch a nap on the plane ride down so I didn't have my usual self-help books or slapstick Melissa McCarthy movies on my Kindle this time. Instead, I put in my ear buds and listened to Tony Burroughs audio book, Get What You Want: The Art of Making and Manifesting Your Intentions. I listened to the first couple of chapters and quickly realized that this isn't the kind of book you're meant to listen to. Rather, you're meant to spontaneously open the book to one of the 120 messages in the book and receive the wisdom that to help you in that moment. In spite of my failure to follow instructions, I listened and kept an open mind and I set a single intention on that Delta flight; to learn something new and to be inspired at the conference. Mission accomplished.
When I left Orlando 72 hours later, that whisper of discontent that follows me everywhere I go and makes me both question my sanity and wonder whether I'm fulfilling my destiny was still present – but it was definitely a whisper this time versus the shouting I've been enduring as of late. When I arrived in Orlando, I was in a state of chaos. When I left, I was in a state of gratitude. The only thing I changed was my lens. I wiped the dirty fingerprints and smudges off the lens I was using to view my life and suddenly, I was able to clearly see and count my abundance of blessings. And that, my friends, is the essence of giving it all I've got.
As a result, I'm actually wearing big girl pants a lot more frequently now. (Sorry, fuzzy Cookie Monster pants. I'll be back for you again soon, I'm sure!) Here's the latest progress report:
Give Up: I've given up the pity party I've been hosting and attending on my own behalf lo these last few weeks. Just because I'm wearing big girl pants doesn't mean that I'm also wearing rose-colored glasses, though. I still have sleepless nights; I still have long days; I still have gray hair and an extra ten pounds I can't shed. I still worry about paying the bills; losing all my teeth; and whether or not my boss likes me. I still second-guess myself; say mean things; act ungrateful; and leave toothpaste spit in the sink. And . . . I'm actively giving up the glass-half-empty view on life. I am one of the luckiest bitches I know. I own two houses; I have a sassy new car; I have a husband who is my rock and my cheerleader; I have a job that allows me to have all these things; and in a few weeks, I'm going to Rome with my husband because I can. I'm relatively healthy; I love my pets; and damn it, my teeth are just as white as Rob Lowe's!
Simply put, I'm giving up on a scarcity mentality. I have everything I could ever want and more and I will embrace a grateful mentality of abundance.
Give In: I'm almost 42 years old – although on the inside, I am the same insecure 14 year old I was just yesterday. I have to stop comparing everyone else's outsides to my insides. And I have to embrace the fact that at 42, I'm middle-aged. I buy clothes at Coldwater Creek and J. Jill, not Forever 21 or wherever the young people shop. I have gray hair and age spots and gravity is moving some of my parts to places I'd rather they not go. I can't stop the aging process but what I can do is be grateful that God has chosen to grant me 42 years (almost) on this planet and be thankful for each day.
Give it All I've Got:
172 days of food logging on MyFitnessPal and I've actually lost some weight! I'm about four pounds away from my goal weight – and I'm still working out with Big Bad Trainer Aaron so I'm building muscles while evicting fat. I hate to admit it, but I think food logging works. Perhaps I could have saved myself some trouble (and several pairs of fat pants) if I'd embraced this notion earlier.
I also recently bought a fitness tracker with a Groupon. It was a smoking deal for a Jawbone Up, and like MyFitnessPal, I have a love-hate relationship with this device. I love how it makes me more mindful of what I'm doing but I hate the daily shaming when I fail to reach my step goal. However, in the spirit of giving it my all, I simply take it all in stride and try to be a little better today than I was yesterday – and on those days when I'm not, I don't give up – I just try again.
I'm also giving all I've got to being the kind of person I can be proud of. I volunteered to teach a resume writing workshop for a college class the other day. I helped several broke students develop resumes that will hopefully help them get jobs and make their mark on this world. I say please and thank you. I tell people I appreciate them. And I generally try to not be an asshole, which can be harder than it sounds, but which is also generally good advice for all of us.
With gratitude,
Princess D . . . trying not to be an asshole but not giving up my tiara.
Ps. Don't we make a nice couple?
