Sunday, May 8, 2016

Soundtrack to My Life: The B Side

If my life had a soundtrack, every lousy, rotten, craptacular moment I’ve endured would be foreshadowed by Bonnie Tyler’s 1983 power ballad, Total Eclipse of the Heart. It all started November 15, 1983 when, as a buck-toothed, painfully awkward and nearly six foot tall ten year old kid, my dad wrote the first of many big fat checks for my orthodontia and I became the very first kid in Mrs. Hengler’s 5th grade class to have a full set of shiny, metal braces. What on earth does Bonnie Tyler have to do with any of this and why am I such an ungrateful brat, you ask? Excellent questions. Allow me to explain.

With the benefit of hindsight and my own Korean-car sized investment in my teeth, I’m incredibly grateful that my parents scrimped and saved to straighten my jacked-up teeth. But in 1983, I didn’t want to stand out. I wanted to blend in and ideally, disappear. I didn’t want to be the smart kid or the tall kid or the clumsy kid (although I was all those things) – I desperately wanted to be average. More than anything, I wanted to be invisible. You know what makes you visible as heck? Becoming the first metal mouth in your 5th grade class. I endured orthodontia for four and a half long years. I had three different orthodontic headgears and I singlehandedly kept the tiny rubber band companies in business. Before I could participate in my first real “boy-girl” kiss, I had to deftly remove something like a billion rubber bands that were cleverly serving as some kind of orthodontic chastity shield. (Side note: I wasn’t real popular with the boys until college. Coincidence?)

November 15, 1983 is the day I had my braces affixed. My orthodontist’s office had zero privacy. Instead, there were two large rooms filled with dental chairs in every color of the rainbow. They summoned their snaggle-toothed patients to their kaleidoscopic torture chamber by bellowing your name and directing you to the “red chair on the left” or the “blue chair on the right.” On this fateful day, I was summoned to the orange chair on the right, where I would spent a nearly five hour shift having things stuck to my mouth.  Back in 1983, we didn’t have iPods or Pandora or Spotify or whatever you cool kids are using to listen to the tunes now. We had cassette tapes, we had vinyl records, and we had FM radio. Many businesses relied on the soothing, muffled doo doo di doo doopidy doo of elevator music as ambient noise, but not my orthodontist. Instead, he had his FM station tuned to WLTE, the “light rock, less talk” station favored by our parents. No one was going to turn their FM dial to WLTE and blow the knob off. But if you wanted to hear some Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack; Linda Ronstadt, or Pointer Sisters – this was your station. And on November 15, 1983, as I laid upside down in the orange chair on the right becoming the most visible mouth in the 5th grade, I heard Total Eclipse of the Heart played six times. Six.

Fast forward a few years. I’m a sophomore in high school, and I’m getting ready to start my first day at a new high school – the third school I’ve attended in three years.  Total Eclipse of the Heart plays on the school bus radio and tees me up for the worst school year I can remember. When I find out that my pimply boyfriend is cheating on me with a younger girl with greasy hair and a huge nose who puts out - Total Eclipse of the Heart is playing in the background. The short version of this story is that every single disappointment in my life felt like it was set to a Bonnie Tyler soundtrack. Jobs I didn’t get; promotions I was denied; car accidents; flat tires; you name it. And sometimes Bonnie Tyler predicted some really dark shit too. On my 26th birthday, I woke up to Bonnie Tyler on the radio and although I turned the station as quickly as my chubby fingers allowed, it didn’t stop my neighbor from roughing me up and robbing me three hours later. The day my grandfather died? Total Eclipse of the Heart. I think you get my drift.

It might be a musical masterpiece. It might be a beautiful song. I’m a little biased. What I can tell you is that it’s a l-o-n-g song and I can name that tune in about four notes – and my cat-like reflexes will have me pouncing to change the channel, the station, the song to avoid whatever doom lurks around the corner. Bonnie and her seven minute song about vampire love or whatever the hell she’s carrying on about enjoyed a lot of popularity in the 1980’s. I enjoyed a temporary separation from her doomsday predictions during the grunge era but like any damn iconic song, I’ve never been able to fully avoid it – but here in 2016, things have gotten out of hand. Bonnie Tyler is being used to peddle Fiber One bars. Her music is the cure for constipation. And yet, if you’re someone like me, it may cause metaphoric explosive diarrhea.

I popped into my local coffee shop a few days ago to pick up some motivation in cup before a marathon day at the office. Because I’m not always a total dick, I’d taken coffee orders from my colleagues and purchased four designer drinks to go. The moment I finished placing my order, Bonnie Tyler began blaring from the sound system. The tweenaged baristas squealed and said inane things like, “Ohhh! I just love this oldie! What a great song!” while I made the sign of the cross and wondered what horrific joyride the universe had planned for me next. Would I spill coffee on my cute suit? Would I be late to work? Would I break my leg? Or would I get fired? The possibilities are endless.

I’m a little bit older than I was when I sat in the orange chair on the right. I’m not necessarily any wiser but I have grown more comfortable in my own skin. I know who I am and while I still occasionally fight the urge to fade into the background, I’m not afraid to be center stage anymore. I do my best work from the wings, though. I’ll be your biggest and loudest cheering section; your toughest coach; and your confidante. There is no greater joy for me than to see those around me achieve their goals and reach their amazing potential. While I will still go into epileptic-type seizures to silence Bonnie Tyler, just know it’s so I can fulfill my real mission – which is to be the wind beneath your wings.  


© 2016 Princess D 

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