No Shame in My Game

Allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is Denise, but I like to be called "Princess" – because in my world, I'm reigning over a kingdom and I rock the tiara. My head is perfectly shaped for tiaras and other blingy accessories. If it were socially acceptable, I'd wear one every single day. If I get a paper cut on my finger, you'll be able to hear me moaning in pain from at least four states away. If someone pisses me off . . . well, you'll be able to hear about that provided that you live on earth and possess ears. Bottom line? I have a penchant for the melodramatic, and when I get into a funk, I can host a pity party that would put any Real Housewife to shame.

My recent rant, titled Epic Fail, is a classic example of this. In fact, the very act of writing it was incredibly therapeutic, because I got to take all the voices inside my head and mock them on the interwebs. You may be relieved to hear that shortly after posting Epic Fail, I not only finished the first draft of my personal Moby Dick (the ten page paper I must do for work), but I also rectified my bathing situation and took a damn shower. There was lathering, rinsing, and repeating. I even used conditioner.

I want to be honest – yes, I do suffer from depression. Lots of people do. It's a real thing, and while many of us have found ways to live with it, not everyone is so fortunate. Thankfully, 80% of people who seek treatment for depression are treated successfully and yay, me, for being part of the 80%! But here's the caveat – you need to seek treatment in order to be counted in that statistic. And although we can at least talk about depression today, there is a stigma surrounding mental illness. I don't list clinical depression on my LinkedIn profile – because I am more than some lousy brain chemistry. I also have hypertension – so I am lousy brain chemistry combined with at a high risk for heart disease and stroke. But I'm a lot more than those labels, too.

Is there a point here? I'm getting there. 40,000 people will die by suicide this year. Most of them will die without having sought professional care. In the time it takes me to write this blog post, two people will commit suicide – and the world will lose out on the opportunity to let their light shine. Untreated depression is one of the leading causes of suicide. And suicide is permanent and forever. My dear friend Nate struggled and fought mental illness but ultimately, lost his fight when he took his life nearly 15 years ago. Guess what? The people who love him feel his absence every single day. Me included.

Here's my point. Yes – I'm a drama queen. Yes, I feel like an epic failure sometimes. I hear that's normal. Thank the good Lord above that I have friends and family and a pharmacist who all love me. (Ok, maybe not my pharmacist. He's an old guy at Walgreens). More importantly, I know that they will put up with my mood swings and my drama and my pity party and my eating cake for dinner. Some of them read my Epic Fail blog and had a good chuckle, while others (my nice friends), gave me pep talks. My husband, who knows exactly what he signed up for when he met me at the altar, provided me with wine and popcorn. He truly is a prince. He even has my dinner ready for me when I come home from work! Best guy ever!!!

Bottom line – I rock my anthem even when I'm not trying to. Because let me tell you this - I gave coping with my depression everything I had yesterday. And today, I feel better. If anyone is looking for me, I'll be at the gym.

Ps. If you feel so inclined and want to donate a couple of bucks to a great cause, may I recommend www.save.org? And if you really want to make my day, tell SAVE that you want to donate to the Nathan Corbett Named Memorial Fund.

 

© 2015 Princess D