Saturday, January 3, 2015

Where the Rubber Meets the Road


As it turns out, abandoning the notion of New Year's resolutions and adopting a yearly theme (or, as I like to call mine, an annual anthem) is a great start. Unfortunately, this isn't all you have to do. After selecting the catchy, "Give up, give, in, or give it all you've got" as my mantra, I did not magically lose weight while I slept. I was not blessed with a succession of great hair days in a row. My house failed to vacuum itself. While setting a yearly theme and posting it prominently in my cubicle was a great start, sadly, I was going to have to do some heavy lifting if I wanted different results. And that, friends, was enough to send me racing to my bedroom and the solace of my furry Cookie Monster pajamas.

True confession: I am great at starting things. I can frequently overcome my inertia, put on my big girl pants (not to be confused with my Cookie Monster pants), and try something new. In fact, I start things all the time. My problem isn't with starting . . . it's with maintenance. As it turns out, I seem to require constant validation and positive reinforcement in order to persist in any undertaking. If those are in short supply, guilt, shame and/or fear are excellent substitutes. I get up every morning and go to work, not because I love my job but because I'm afraid of being homeless and in debt. Don't get me wrong – I like my job, I really do – but it's definitely a job and not a vocation. Such is the motivating factor of fear.




I quit more things than I start, and if I'm being brutally honest, I have an even worse habit of half-assing my way through things. The real reason that I've gained ten pounds while working out with Trainer Aaron for two hours a week is that I'm full of shit. I show up, I move heavy stuff around, but as soon as I leave Trainer Aaron's watchful eyes, I mainline wine and carb-laden snacks like a Tasmanian devil with an eating disorder. About once a week, I decide to get serious about cleaning up my diet, and I start logging my food on MyFitnessPal. My longest successful stretch of food logging is five days, because let's face it – I don't really want to be confronted with evidence of the "all Cheetos and wine, all the time" lifestyle every time I pick up my phone.

Between starting things I'll either quit within a matter of moments or worse, half-assing my way through like some kind of zombie, I've developed an impressive list of "shoulds" on my to do list. Each day, I get out of bed and from the moment my feet hit the floor, I start "shoulding" all over myself. Today's should list looks like this . . . I should:
  • Do laundry
  • Go to the gym and do at least 45 minutes of cardio
  • Pay bills
  • Renew my passport (nope, still not done)
  • Log all my food in MyFitnessPal
  • Walk the dog
  • Make progress on this terrible work project with a looming deadline that could cost me my job if I don't get it done
  • Pack for my upcoming trip to PA
  • Buy groceries
  • Call my friend Eugene
  • Use my Groupons before they expire
  • Start writing again (or at least, figure out what to do with my two old and half-completed blogs)
  • Organize my closet
By the time 6 PM rolled around, I'd accomplished only one of the things on my should list, and I was already in my Cookie Monster pants and thinking about a glass of wine. Oh, hell – who are we kidding? I was already enjoying a glass of wine from the comfort of my bed, surrounding by all my favorite portable electronic devices, when I stumbled upon yet another life-changing blog, written by PropellerGirl, Deena Ebbert, where she published a clever and inspiring diary of her 100 day challenge journey. Her journey – and journal – were so well-written and so entertaining, I binge read her entire journal in one sitting and realized that my friend Serendipity was paying me another visit.

Do yourself a favor and read Deena's blog. I'm awfully glad I did, because her story gave me the kick in the pants I needed to transform my annual anthem to a way of life instead of something you'd see cross-stitched on a pillow. Watch this space to see how I bring my anthem to life!

 © 2015 Princess D

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